Vocation Story - Br. Martin [VIDEO]

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I think the greatest gift that my parents ever gave me, which they modeled themselves, was the thing that is going to satisfy us the most is following God's will for our life.

I’m the fifth of seven, and I have a really good dad who loves me, and I know that. But the idea of God loving me, as Father, always just felt intellectual.

I felt like the older son in Jesus’ story of the prodigal son. The older brother who was faithful but is bitter because he didn't get what he wanted. 

So I had this tension, this kind of bitterness within me, that one weekend on retreat just kind of flared up in me and I was angry with the Lord. I just needed to get it all out, I was just so frustrated. I go and I'm standing in the shower, and God starts to speak to me. I didn't quite know it at the time- that was the very beginning of my vocational call. 

My first kind of magnetic impressions of the Brothers was praying with them. There was a way that they prayed that really resonated with me and now, as I know more about the Brothers, it was just the very belief that a relationship with Jesus alone is enough to satisfy the deepest needs of the human heart. 

I absolutely wrestled with nervousness and kind of ups and downs of my own emotional rollercoaster. What's this going to be? Am I going to be happy? Am I going to be satisfied? 

One of things I'm really grateful for in religious life is that you get to actually try it out for a little bit because God respects our freedom so much. We respect each other's freedom so much, and I always experienced that from the Brothers. I never once felt coerced or manipulated or asked to do something earlier, like take a next step before I was ready. In fact it was usually me who was asking, "How do I do the next thing? What's the next step?"

“You truly have lifted the desires of your heart to the Lord, Martin. You are a witness to all of those around you, so as you go on to make the final vows, I encourage you to never forget who you're truly doing this for. I love you Uncle Martin.” -Br. Martin's nephew

There's a lot of confusion right now about what it means to be a man or woman. I don't think a lot of young guys have many good, faithful, masculine role models in their life. 

I love the space of being a Brother in the University world because it gives me the freedom to be on campus with young guys. To be right in the heart, in the center. I'm not waiting for them to come through my doors or come into a church. To go and be where they are, in the midst of a confusing, anxiety provoking world and be a man who knows who he is, who loves the Lord.

That's attractive to see men who know who they are, who are serious about their faith and they’re all so normal, just like normal guys. That awakens something, I think it awakens the greatest desire of a man's heart. To want to give his life away to something, to this adventure, to following God's invitation in his life. But we need to see that, we need to see other people doing it.

What I’ve come to see, as I've laid down my life, as I've surrendered my life to the Lord over the past five years of discerning with the Brothers, I've only been more joyful. I've only been more free. My life has only been more fruitful, and so I chose this. I’m choosing to lay down my life for the Lord.